I dont know who i am anymore.

I used to be so out spoken, so outgoing, so active, so fun. I used to speak my oppinion reguardless of who was around. Now its like i hide. Around him im a different person. I dont feel like its okay to cry, or be upset. I dont feel appriciated, I dont feel like i do anything up to his standards. Its like sometimes i just want to say "Well go be with someone who does things your ways then!" I mean one of us has to be happy right? Im not saying im not completely happy. When i see my son smile, im on top of the world. But lately, when i see his dad, all i see is anger. I would pay to see raider happy again, and i just dont think thatll happen while im around. I know he loves me, he works his ass off for me and my son, but i dont think he sees the girl he fell in love with when he looks at me. The things he used to find cute about me, annoy him now. And its making me miserable. I want him to appriciate what i do do, instead of critisizing me for what i dont. I want him to randomly tell me im beautiful, and tell me how much he loves me. I want him to take me and jonathan to a park, or even for a little walk around our apartments, just because its a beautiful day to be with his family. I want him to be happy again. I know hes tired and stressed from work, but i am too. I dont get a break, he doesnt get that. I work 24/7. I cant eat my lunch alone, and i have to struggle to take a shower alone! I appriciate him working for me, and i will always be thankful for that, but i dont appriciate when i clean every room except for ours, and i get bitched at because i didnt do "my job" i do my job every day. One room that noone should even see is apparently worth making me feel like shit. I try. I really do, and he doesnt really care about that. Doesnt matter if im feeling sick. I have to be perfect. I cant make mistakes. I dont understand how it came to this. I dont. I want him to love me like he used to, flaws and all. I wish he would just try to understand.