bitch bitch bitch

I hate holidays that involve gifts. And now, being a mom, i get another one. Dont get me wrong, i love being celebrated, especially this time, because every mom deserves a day to celebrate the joys of motherhood, but to be honest, as selfish as it sounds, ive always wanted to get something meaningful. When people get me shirts or perfume, i like it, but i want more. I want something to keep forever, like a bracelet, a neclace, or even a simple snow globe. I dont care how cheap, or expensive, thats just the thing i want. And it upsets me, that me and raider have been through every holiday together, and he has yet to get this for me. Id understand if we were broke, but he goes out and buys everything he wants, is it asking to much for him to think about me without me mentioning it? Ive even told him the exact store that i love. Its called things remembered, and everything in it is engravable, and beautiful to me, i love this store beyond words, but when sunday comes around will i be seeing anything from it? No, because i didnt say an exact thing that i want. I dont want to have to tell someone the exact thing, i want it to come from their heart, not mine. And this happened on valentines day, and Christmas as well. I know its not about the gifts, And for 18 years ive accepted that. But when i look back to all those holidays, the only thing i still have is a necklace that my mom gave me for my 14th Christmas. I wear it religiously everyday because its something that lasts me forever, the toys that i had from childhood, gone, the clothes, gone. But actual objects, they last. Maybe im just bitching a lot, but hey, thats what a blog is for right?

I so dont look forward to sunday.